Monday, May 20, 2024

Signs Your Relationship Might Need Saving

After you have been in a relationship for a period of time things are not the same as they were when you first met.  During the relationship, lots of things happen that can change the way you feel.  You both grow and change as a person due to these experiences and therefore you can grow apart.  Children can come along and this can change the dynamics of a relationship in a negative way, despite the children bringing joy to both parents.

 1. Conversation between the 2 of you is difficult/strained.  

You can start to find it very difficult to have a conversation when there is just the two of you there.  You prefer to pick up your phone and look at social media rather than talk to your partner.  

If your partner asks how you are, you just give the standard “ok” answer as you don’t want to really tell them how you feel.  You just want to keep the conversations as short as possible.  You have no interest in sharing things with each other. 

 2. You are no longer interested in the same things

Your interests have changed.  You no longer like the things that you did together when you first met. This can happen after the children have grown up and moved on.  You find it difficult to find something to do that you both enjoy.  When you have children, you would go to do things together because of the children, but now there is only the two of you, there is no joy in doing these activities.

One of you might like to be outside but the other one no longer likes to do this.  This can put strain on the relationship because you can not agree on things to do together.  One person, can then take this personally and feel the other person doesn’t want to be with them anymore.

 3. You no longer have an intimate relationship 

You do not want to be intimate with each other because the spark has gone in the relationship.  You do not fancy each other anymore as you have been together for a number of years.  The lack of intimate relationship can be magnified when there is just the two of you left at home.  When you have a family at home, there probably hasn’t been time to focus on the lack of an intimate relationship. 

The lack of an intimate relationship can lead to either party looking elsewhere for affection. 

 4. You prefer to go out with your friends rather than your partner

You make arrangements to go out with your friend but when your partner asks if you want to go out, you say you are too tired and that you have already been out this week. 

 5. You find an excuse to stay away from the house as you don’t want to spend time together

You spend time just walking around the shops after you have done your shopping, just to stay away from home.  You find you are not enjoying being at home, even though you like your home.  You will offer to help friends do things rather than go home. 

Every time your partner suggests doing something together, you immediately try to plan something else with someone else or make an excuse not to do it.

Hilary Sims of Life Balance Counselling is a Registered Member of the British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapy (BACP) and an Accredited Member of the National Counselling Society (NCS) based in Stourbridge, West Midlands.

Hilary has a Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling and a Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Hilary also has a certificate in Counselling Children and Young People.

Hilary helps people from aged 12 and upwards to live a more fulfilling life by learning how to deal with their mental health issues in a different way. 

She offers Humanistic Person Centered Counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Solution Focused Therapy (SFT). Hilary offers face to face, video or telephone sessions.


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