How to Fall in Love with Yourself and Feel More Confident in Your Own Skin.
It’s not up to anybody else but you to decide whether your body is worthy of love. I totally get it. We have been brought up in a society that uses a certain body shape and type to sell their products and make money. We have been conditioned to believe that this is the ideal shape and size we should all be, but wouldn’t the world be a boring place if we all looked, acted and behaved in the same way?
I want to make it very clear and believe me gorgeous, you are perfectly imperfect just the way you are. Your body doesn’t need to be a certain shape or size to experience radical self-love. You my darling do not need to act or conform in a certain way to show up in true self-confidence, all you need to do is allow your inner being to shine through.
I want to share with you a little story of my own journey to self-love and body confidence, and some of the tools that I found useful at the beginning of my self-love journey. I wasn’t always this confident version of myself, for many years I struggled with severe anxiety, body dysmorphia and panic attacks. I felt that the whole world was watching my every move, judging me, comparing me and I didn’t feel worthy of love, my mind monkeys would play havoc with my thoughts, and there is no way that I could even take a single compliment, not even from my own husband!
I had my first-born child when I was just 18. I was made to feel I wasn’t responsible enough or worthy enough to take care of a small baby. Even strangers on the street would make comments that made me feel insecure in my own skin. By the time I had my second child, I was a nervous wreck, my anxiety and panic attacks had become so bad that I couldn’t even leave the house. My self-esteem was so low, and I couldn’t look in a mirror without finding something that was wrong with me. Whether it be my “flappy” belly from having my children, too many freckles on my face, the wrong colour eyes or the fact that my breasts were no bigger than a couple of “fried eggs”.
And I didn’t even realise the detrimental effect that this was having, not only on me, but on those around me too until my 3-year-old daughter began to mimic my actions in the mirror!
This was my turning point the moment that I knew I needed to step up and learn to love who I am, I needed to show my daughter that no matter what, we are all deserving of radical self-love and acceptance. I would love to share with you three of my top tips so that you too can begin a journey of self-love and self-confidence.
- Sit down and think about all the conditioning that you have been through in your years here on earth. You see, we are all born with a clean slate, we have no opinions, we’re just here to experience pure joy and pleasure. As we grow our parents, friends, auntie’s, uncle’s, grandparents, teachers, community, and anyone else we encounter, sow seeds in our empty plot of land. Some of these seeds are lovingly planted, and blossom and nourish us, and others turn into weeds and begin to take over our beautifully planted gardens. It’s important for us to get to the roots when figuring out what we truly believe when it comes to stepping into our self-love power. So, take some time to go through and figure out which ones are facts and which ones are story’s (fictions) created to keep you safe or to stop you from achieving all that you truly desire. Once you have your list you will be able to start working on weeding out the stories no longer required, as you start filling up your plot of land with beautiful flowers that will support you to grow in confidence and radical Self -love.
- Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and cut out anyone who brings you down. This act alone will see you start to shine in confidence rapidly. Have a social media cull, remove yourself from groups/friends that bring toxic energy to your day, and seek out communities that will have you feeling on top of the world. Aim to do this task in the real world too.
- Pick 3 positive affirmations that will boost your body-confidence. (make sure that these resonate with you fully). Write them down and leave them around your home where you will see them often. Don’t forget to say them out loud each time you pass them by.
Remember you are absolutely beautiful just the way you are. Your body tells a story of your journey so far. Celebrate every scar, every wobble, every stretch mark. Because your body is a truly powerful vessel and is deserving of your love.
Love sex & relationship coach and best selling author Serena Novelli is on a mission to empower women across the globe in feeling more comfortable in their own skin, and super confident both in and out of the bedroom. Using the VITA Method Serena’s work combines modern neurobiology & a blend of ancient and powerful Tantric healings. Serena Is the founder of Love Thy Body Project & The Diva Divine Academy.