Internet Dating and Me!
Give dating a go they said! It will be fun they said…
I wanted to give you all a bit of a light-hearted read and hopefully a chuckle too, but all at my expense!
I had been single for several months after a relationship break up, when a couple of friends suggested to me I should try Internet dating, to this date I have still not met anyone, but I’ve met some weird, rude and wonderful men along the way!
If you’ve never Internet dated, let me give you an insight…
The first thing you have to do is create a profile, and me being me, I’m totally honest, upfront and wear my heart on my sleeve, shame I can’t say this for lots of men out there.
One of my first messages was from a guy, who for at least two weeks lied about his age by about 10 years, my feeling is, if you’re going to lie before you’ve even met somebody what other lies are you going to tell! After a few weeks of messaging and being inundated with hundreds of messages from young boys to men old enough to be my own father, I braved meeting my first date.
It was a huge lesson and learning curve for me, as this guy had blatantly ignored my profile and what I was looking for. Now I’m quite a tall lady, and at about 5ft 9, I said quite clearly, I was looking for a man over 5ft 11 (you click on these requirements). From the minute I got out of my car and he got out of his and walked towards me (I was closer to the pub door we had arranged to meet at), my heart sank instantly as he was blatantly 5ft6/5ft7 if that! Having a conversation was hard work and he wasn’t the outgoing/confident guy I was looking for.
Lesson one learned, take what a lot of people say with a pinch of salt, if they want to meet you, they will tell you what you want to hear.
It was a huge lesson and learning curve for me, as this guy had blatantly ignored my profile and what I was looking for. Now I’m quite a tall lady, and at about 5ft 9, I said quite clearly, I was looking for a man over 5ft 11 (you click on these requirements). From the minute I got out of my car and he got out of his and walked towards me (I was closer to the pub door we had arranged to meet at), my heart sank instantly as he was blatantly 5ft6/5ft7 if that! Having a conversation was hard work and he wasn’t the outgoing/confident guy I was looking for.
Lesson one learned, take what a lot of people say with a pinch of salt, if they want to meet you, they will tell you what you want to hear.
Another lesson was actually getting on very well with people messaging back-and-forth thinking you have lots in common, yet when you meet them it’s a whole different story. I met one guy I thought I got on really well with and when he smiled half his teeth were missing from the sides…Yuk!
I think probably one of my most annoying and quite honestly blatantly rude dates I have ever had, but I look back now and I do laugh, was a guy I met at a lovely pub/restaurant in a beautiful location. I had spent ages getting ready sprucing myself up, and drove half an hour to meet him. Obviously we had exchanged a few pictures so he looked smart in all of these photos and well-groomed. He messaged me whilst I was sat in the car waiting for him, to say he would be late, but told me to go on inside and he would be there shortly. After about 10 minutes I caught a glimpse of him in a side window and my mouth just dropped, he was running… Yes, running into the pub whilst peeling off a number from the front of his T shirt. He walked in dripping in sweat, profusely apologising for his lateness and saying he didn’t know the marathon he’d signed up for was 10K, and thought it was only 5K! I think the expression on my face said it all, I felt totally overdressed and insulted that anybody would turn up to a first meet up (I never think they are a date) with someone looking like he did! I agreed just to stop for a cup of tea, but didn’t stay long after that! How rude!
Another common problem I have found, dating men in their 50’s, is how lots of them are basically looking for a replacement mother or counsellor. Half of them cannot cook, clean, wash and iron but seem to have a full itinerary of things they HAVE to do. To name but a few: go to the gym, go for a run, go out on their motorbike, see their children, chill and all whilst you do their cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing and and and! I have met men that can’t cope with their job, don’t have a job, oh and then there are the real reasons behind their explanations. In the early messages you receive, they will tell you they are currently looking for the next job opportunity. This means basically, they don’t have a job! I am in the throes of house hunting: in honest terms this means they still live with their parents!
One of the most disheartening and common things I have found with Internet dating, is the men that actually shouldn’t be Internet dating. They jump straight out of one relationship or have just had an argument with a girlfriend and straightaway are back on the hunt for their next victim! So many women I’ve talked to and friends that have Internet dated, have met men who have dragged them through bitter divorces, deep-seated issues from the past which have not been addressed. One friend of mine summed it up very well when she sent me a card saying you are not Battersea Dogs Home and when you open the card it ended with “you do not have to take on every waif and stray”! She is right of course, I guess I’ve had my fair share of hurt and upset over the years, and try to see the best in people and help them in their hour of need, but like I say I’m not a counsellor. If only these men and women would let their hearts heal first!
I have been told I am not fussy enough, I should stick to what I’m looking for and go with my head and not my heart, conversely others say I am being too picky. One thing I do know is I would rather be on my own and happy than settle for someone who treats me badly or isn’t right for me.
I read this book called “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” which is a book all about relationships, I would definitely recommend reading this book as there are some parts I think everyone can relate too.
It’s hard to be in your 50’s and trying to find a life partner, where you don’t want to go out into town, pubbing and clubbing, but where do you go to meet decent, kind, nice men, that you have things in common with?
I will tell you a few more dating disasters in my future blogs. I hope it’s given you a laugh, and given you an insight into internet dating. It really is hard work and a lot of effort for very little in return! If you want any advice on dating in general a friend recommended this podcast to me called “Dating advice for Women” and it was one of 2020s best sellers on Audible.
Saying that, I do have friends that have met the men of their dreams on the Internet, but in the last year I just couldn’t face it again! But never say never I guess!
