Finding 'THE ONE'
We’re social beings designed to find a mate and procreate, but as the world population heads towards the 8 billion mark, why are so many struggling to find their soul mate?
If you’re a singleton spending more time fishing and bumbling your way through the dating apps wondering when you’re True love will appear. The following advice might come in handy when searching for The One…..
- First and foremost, have a long hard chat with yourself and consider why you’re single or why you haven’t found ‘The One’ yet.
- It’s really hard to love someone who doesn’t love themselves. Think about how you are perceived by others. What energy are you giving off? Are you confident in yourself and feel deserving of love? because if you have any doubts about yourself, believe me, the other person will pick up on them which will leave them feeling like something just isn’t right and they may not pursue the relationship.
- Not only do you need to acknowledge your limiting beliefs about why you haven’t found your partner yet but you also need to question why you want to find love. Do you want a partner or do you need a partner? Be honest with yourself now! Maybe you would have a greater feeling of financial security if you could share the burden with a significant other or perhaps you struggle with your own company and feelings of loneliness? These are definitely NOT reasons to go looking for love, but they are opportunities to reflect upon your emotional needs and work on your personal development.
- Be real – You want your future partner to love you for who you are. We all love a filter but nobody has skin that flawless or bunny ears in real life, so if you’re updating your online profile, show the real you with a variety of photos and make sure you smile. Many apps let you upload videos or voice prompts, again, these are going to show off the real you and save a lot of time in that getting-to-know-you stage.
- Have you’re non negotiable’s and stick to them! Don’t extend your search criteria just because you’ve run out of options.
- Don’t get addicted to the ego boost. It’s easy to spend your days checking how many likes and messages you have but set yourself a time limit for your swiping sessions and stick to them.
- Make space in your life and act as if you have already found your ideal partner. You need to assume the identity of the person you want to become and live ‘as if’ right now. This sends a strong message to your subconscious and affirms you are ready to change this part of your life.
- Listen to your intuition (inner voice) – if in doubt about anyone or any situation then DON’T! Whatever the situation, if you feel something is wrong, it probably is! Talk through your fears or question your date. You will soon feel better about the situation once you have more information. Your potential date should be understanding. If they’re not, then they’re not for you.
- Find out yours and their love languages – You need to be compatible or at least aware of each other’s love languages and willing to work with each other’s for the relationship to survive. If touch is your love language but your date really isn’t into cuddles and holding hands, well….. you need to seriously think about the your long term feelings of satisfaction. Click here to find your love language or check out this months book in the regulars section for more details.
- What do you expect to happen? As with all things in life, your beliefs and expectations underpin your actions and behaviour. If you believe you will find love or you believe you won’t, you will always be right. Be aware of your thoughts and feelings and be the change you want to happen.
- Stop looking and relax….. surrender to the outcome. How many times have you stopped looking for something only for it to cross your path sooner or later. Stop looking for love and go and enjoy yourself. You never know who might cross your path.
And finally…… know when it’s not working!
“love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably going to be poo!”
Be kind and honest and always make it about you not them. Use phrases that start with “I feel” or “I need”
Sarah is a Mind, Body & Manifesting Coach
Author of Beyond Your Beliefs and Co-Founder of Mind • Body • Manifest Online Magazine
with 25yrs experience working to help her clients overcome mental and physical pain, illness, injury and disease. She specialises in energy release techniques to harness the power of her clients emotions and beliefs so they can transform their mindset, heal their bodies and consciously create the life they really want.