Monday, May 20, 2024

Self Loathing to Self Love

Losing weight is NOT your life purpose ladies!

Have you ever said to yourself “I’ll be happy when I’m a size 10,12,14” etc?

“I just want to drop one more dress size”

“I just want to lose another Stone and then I will feel more confident”

Sound familiar?

So what happens when you’ve reached that goal? How do you feel then?

I have been every size from a 6 to a size 20 and not one particular size made me feel happy. Why? Because I needed to work on my mindset.

I was disconnected to my body, to the beauty, what my body had been through with pregnancy and childbirth. My body is incredible but I used to be so cruel to myself. I was broken.

I spent years allowing my dress size to determine my self worth. I was obsessed with weighing myself on a daily basis and that number on the scales would determine how I would feel that day and if I could love myself that day.

I was missing out on life

I was missing out on memories that could have been made with my children because I felt disgusting.

The truth is our kids don’t care what size our bikini is, they don’t care that you have cellulite, they just need you to be present. 

I would always shy away from the camera and avoid being in any photos. Now I refuse to not be in them because I’m done hating myself, and I refuse to spend the rest of my life trapped in my body.


Everything changed when I finally realised that I didn’t want to be skinny to like myself, for anyone else’s approval or for anyone else to love me.

I was sick of living my life on other peoples terms.

I was fed up of continuously telling myself I will be happy when…when what?

There is no when, there is only NOW!

The size of our jeans should not dictate how beautiful we feel.


I’ve been on my self love journey since 2014.

Somehow I lost my way for a little while and I had to work so damn hard to reconnect.

I’m finally happy in my body regardless of my weight or my dress size.

I will not be judged for my looks or if my body is “socially acceptable”

I love just finally being ME! 

The feeling of freedom when you no longer care what anyone thinks, it’s liberating!

So here’s my tips for you ladies 

Take one day at a time.

Use one positive affirmation each day.

Be grateful to wake up every day in that beautiful body of yours that’s keeping you alive, the body that’s carried a life.

Unfollow all the picture – perfect women on your social media, because it’s not real!

Write down all of the awful things you’ve ever said about yourself, about your body, and then burn it. Commit to stop the negative self talk and speak only positive affirmations. 

Lastly, give yourself more credit and be kinder to yourself.

I created the Body Love Babes community for women who are feeling lost , disconnected to their body and struggling with confidence and body image.

I can help you learn to love your body.

I’m not, and don’t pretend to be an expert or a coach. I simply give you all the tools and resources and my biggest tips that helped me move from self loathing to self love.

My mission is to help you achieve what you don’t believe is possible.

Danni is a co-author of Love Thy Body: Real Life Stories Vol 2. She is a self love advocate and founder of @Body Love Babes

Helping women to begin their self love journey, to move from self loathing to self love.

Danni has just launched an online community and plans to launch a self love subscription box and soon to launch a new podcast.

Her mission is to create a generation of fierce women, to make every woman feel worthy. She wants to help women heal and to remind them that they are so much more than the size of their jeans.

Contact details

Facebook profile – Danni Fraser